The twelve fails of Christmas

Christmas Fails2

It’s safe to say nothing ever goes 100 per cent swimmingly at Christmas!

From Christmas decoration fails to kitchen-based woes, we’ve rundown our list of 12 things that are bound to happen over your Yuletide celebrations. 

Running out of wrapping paper

Picture this: you’ve finished all your Christmas shopping early but decide to wrap all your presents up on Christmas Eve (rookie error, may we add). You go into the cupboard and to your horror you see that there’s only enough wrapping paper for half your gifts.

What says “merry Christmas” more than a bottle of perfume wrapped in foil, a new dressing gown inside a bag for life tied up with a ribbon or a mountain bike hidden behind a week’s worth of newspapers anyway?

Emergency furniture woes

You’ve offered to host the family Christmas dinner, knowing full-well that you’ve got space for about six, at a push, meaning you have to embark on a quest to source chairs – and lots of them.

Bar stools, pouffes and camping chairs of all sizes unite around two different sized patio tables, and you can relax – you’ve pulled it off. That’s until the wobbly table leg you didn’t spot gives way and the gravy boat ends up in the lap of your grandad. Oops!

Going OTT on the sprouts

The part of Christmas nobody professes to like, yet the one that gets more airtime than anything else. That ‘small’ bag of sprouts you’ve bought is guaranteed be too much for your guests, and they’ll be left unloved in the bowl. Prepare yourself for the sarcastic shouts of “blimmin’ heck, are you planning on feeding the five thousand with these sprouts?!”

Tussling with your fairy lights

#ChristmasLightFails would go absolutely viral on social media. No matter how carefully you packed away your Christmas lights last year, as soon as you open the box to put them up, they’ll be knotted, tangled and woven together like never before. Yup, get ready for five painstakingly long hours unthreading them all, then for your partner to say they’re ugly and they want to buy some new ones *insert face palm emoji here*.

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Forgetting to buy someone a present

“You know, Beth! Your mum’s great-uncle’s son’s daughter’s husband’s kid? Surely you remember Beth!”

You don’t. But it turns out you’re supposed to buy her a present and, of course, you haven’t. Cue to judgemental headshaking from your step-second cousin twice removed.   

Getting too merry on Christmas Eve

For some, getting in the festive spirit starts on December 24, with Christmas Eve providing you with the perfect opportunity to catch up with your friends and family over a few drinks. Two bottles of wine and a few jaeger bombs later, and that one person who wanted to keep the party going wakes up with a hangover that could slay a woolly mammoth. Cue a grey looking figure sitting at the table, struggling to stomach their Christmas dinner.

Then, on the other side…

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Getting too merry on Christmas Day

With the ginormous yuletide banquet devoured across the day, some fall under the impression that their bellies are so full, that they can literally drink their own body weight in booze. Well, you’re wrong.

Everyone likes a tipple at Christmas, but there’ll always be your great-aunt trying to recreate what can only be described as ‘flossing’ after a few-too-many-sherries, or your dad fast asleep in the arm chair despite having a household to entertain. Classic dad.

The same present debacle

You: “You know who this jumper would be perfect for – my sister! She’ll love it as a Christmas prezzie.”

Your sister, visiting the same shop: “You know who this jumper would be perfect for – my sister! She’ll love it as a Christmas prezzie.”

Your mum, also in the same shop: “You know who this jumper would be perfect for – my daughters! They’ll love it as a Christmas prezzie.”

Let’s just hope someone’s kept the receipts.

A turkey as dry as the Sahara

No matter how many recipes you read, cooking shows you watch, or chefs you follow on Twitter, there’s always the risk you’ll overcook the turkey. If you get it right, you’ll feel like you’ve just won an Oscar for your efforts.

Get it wrong, and everyone will be asking for extra lashings of gravy and cranberry sauce to try and rehydrate this desert-dry dish. And let’s be honest, everyone thinks they’re Ainsley Harriet when it comes to cooking at Christmas, so expect at least one person to moan its overdone or burnt!

Cats + shiny baubles = disaster

Cats like shiny things. Christmas has shiny things. Your cat sees the shiny things on the tree. Your tree is dragged over. The end.

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The Christmas competitive streak

Everyone loves a bit of festive fun on Christmas Day, so it’s the perfect time to crack the games out and hold the annual family competition.

Fast-forward two-hours, and everyone’s sat in silence after your Uncle Mark took his bragging too far after mercilessly defeating the whole family at charades, Buckaroo, Monopoly and that game where you put sticky notes on your forehead (you know, the one that nobody knows the name of).

Not enough pigs in blankets

One all meat eaters can vouch for. It’s almost unforgivable to have Christmas dinner without the trimmings of sausages wrapped in bacon – the double meat delight that gets everyone coming back for seconds and thirds. Or they would, if you’d have bought 20 packs rather than the measly two. There’s always next year to solve the pigs in blanket paradox.